Okayama, or San Francisco?

While we're talking about the little day trip to Okayama I saw Santa on, I'll fill you in on some more details. This was a day bus trip that cost about $25. We had to be at the bus around 7:00 a.m. That was not the least bit amusing. A funny thing was, the bus was full of Chinese people. So as soon as the engine was turned on, I instantly fell asleep. This bus driver must've been speed racer because when I woke up, we were at Fisherman's Wharf (please see picture below).
Everybody got out, took pictures, and enjoyed the Wharf for a little bit. Then we hopped back into the bus and I passed out again. When I awoke, we were in Okayama. There we went to 2 art galleries. One was traditional paintings, Asian and European (They had 1 Picasso). The other gallery was Japanese art...sculptures, statues, etc. After that we ate and looked for souvenirs. We didn't find much, but there was an interesting cat store. A picture of one of the crazy items is shown below.

The bus ride home consisted of the most favorite Japanese past time next to baseball. BINGO! I think in Japan, babies come out with a bingo card. If you ever see an Asian and you can't tell if they're Japanese, just yell N-36 and if their heart rate jumps to 140 beats / min, they're Japanese.


As a side note, I'm out of town for the next 9 days, so there won't be new blog entries for awhile.

(San Fran?)

(My anime buddy Doraemon)

(a river in the city)

(Here who teach people English?)

(the bus)

Happy Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everybody!!! Hope it is/was a good one!! It was good to hear from a lot of you. Makes me miss all of you and Popo's house on Christmas night. However, Japan has helped me out a bit by not really celebrating Christmas. Today didn't even really feel like Christmas. Everybody goes to work and everything is open just like a normal day. I think they only adopted the holiday for the Christmas music because I'll be damned if I've gone into a grocery store in December and haven't heard Christmas music. They all love it here. The only time you don't hear xmas music in the store is 10 minutes before a store is closing. Then they play Auld Lang Syne (every store all year round). When you hear that song it means get the hell out. In fact, that is the only time you will hear English over the intercom. "The store is closing soon." And it's not only in English, but Chinese, and I think 25 different languages (Just to let that foreigner looking for salad dressing in the soy sauce aisle know to hurry it up).

Anyway, back to Christmas. So we all know Santa is a generous man and gives a lot during Christmas. But have you ever wondered how he makes a living to afford all those toys? Well, in October we took a day bus trip to Okaiyama. We stopped by for a bathroom break and snacks. I went inside the snack shop to see what was there. Being from America, I instantly noticed that wasn't any old store clerk selling Japanese cookies.

So everybody, I hope you have a Happy Merry Christmas! (As it's often written in Japan)

School to school salesmen

Sorry I have been neglecting my blog. I have been so super busy lately there has been no time to post. So I'll make this one short and snappy.

In Japan, students never change rooms for different subjects. Instead, they stay in their 'homeroom' all day and different teachers come to teach their subject. Therefore, there is a big teachers' room where all the teachers' desks are located. Well, they let advertisers and people in to sell things. For example, a baker has been in a few times with a variety of pastries and bread. Another time, there was a jewelry guy that came in and laid out jewelry across 3 desks.

This last guy I saw was brilliant. He brought in about 20 boxes of shoes and laid them out for display in the middle of the teacher's room. They were all women's shoes. I may not be smart, but I am smart enough to know if you wave a pair of new shoes under a woman's nose, she going to charge. Just like waving a red cape at a bull. This guy was just not playing by the rules. And lo and behold, the ladies started buying shoes. It was like he brought Christmas to the teacher's room.

We also get about 2 - 3 advertisements left on our desk a week. Here is a picture of the latest. I'm not quite sure what it says about teachers.

It's all in the slippers

Last Friday a Japanese family of doctors held their annual Christmas party. They invite foreigners every year and this year we decided to go. There were 6 foreigners and at least 40 Japanese people, mostly older but some around our age. There was a lot of food, lots of beer, games, "dancing", and a couple of bands playing. I did learn one important thing though:

You know how those musicians are always getting the chicks. Well, I finally figured it out while watching the band. It's all in the shoes, err...I mean slippers. I got the crap end of the slipper deal that night.

Gourmet Chef

As many of you know, I was a very excellent gourmet chef back in the states. It has been a little more difficult since I've gotten here since everything is in Japanese and the stores have different food. BUT, worry not, I have found some nice ingredients (pictured below) to continue my cooking hobby.

Why Japanese go mad

There is something in Japan that is the exact opposite of Sunshine and Lollipops.

Let me start by saying, when ironing boards were invented, Japan must've been full of 3 foot tall midget housewives. The reason I say this is ironing boards stand about a foot tall. AND they're about half the length of American ironing boards. It pisses me off everytime I use it. It takes forever to use and your back kills from being hunched over for so long. I'm going to look like Quasimoto next time you see me. Sometimes it's good to be short...and this is one of those times. I'm short, just not short enough.

One of the first things I'm doing just before leaving Japan is taking this ironing board, throwing it off my balcony as hard as i can, lighting it on fire, and backing over it several times with a car. Just looking at it makes me want to yell words children shouldn't hear.... but i have thin walls so i can't.

Meeting the little ones

Today was one of my best teaching experiences in Japan. I had no classes to teach so my junior highschool let me leave before noon to go teach with another ALT at her elementary school. When I got there, a little 5th grader with her lunch hat and apron came to get me. She walked me to her classroom where there ready for me was a lunch tray on a desk with the kids. I sat down in this tiny ass desk with my knees up against the top of it and all the kids started cracking up and yelling 'chiisai' (small). Anyway, the tray had seaweed, tuna, crab, egg, rice, soup, and a mandarin orange. Apparently today was sushi day. The teacher told the kids to show me how to make it.

Instructions from student next to me:
"Open", while opening his pack of seaweed.
"First, on" (putting rice onto his seaweed.)
"put on" (putting meat onto the rice).
Then after that he folded it and waited for me to.
Then ate it.

It was pretty funny. Then we all talked and had fun while eating. Right after eating lunch, 2 boys came up and gave me 2 small origami birds. Then another boy came up and gave me his new eraser still in the package while saying, "present for you". Then they took me outside to the field where they play during lunchtime. We played a little soccer, played on the jungle jim, and played tag for awhile. All the while having kids come up and say 'hello' and get high fives from me. Then we went back in and I was joking with the students before class started. One student brought up a book and pen and said 'sign please'. So I signed. Then his friend did the same thing. Next thing i know, the whole class was lined up around the room for me to sign their notebooks. And I made a terrible mistake. I signed one kid's book in large cursive. So next thing I know, everybody got in line again and said 'Big sign please'. After that, we went and did a lesson where we taught about Christmas and played Christmas bingo.

To sum it up, I was like The Joker in Batman. I had that cheezy, permasmile on my face the entire time i was there. This was one of my funnest days in Japan. Next time I'll take pictures and share them with you all.

Hello Fatties

Hope everybody had a good Thanksgiving! Who had the top button of their pants undone Thursday night?

In Japan it didn't really feel like Thanksgiving at all on Nov 23rd. In fact, a few of us even forgot it was Thanksgiving until that night. It also could have been due to the fact we were traveling in Nara which I will write about very soon. However, tonight (Sunday) a bar that many foreigners go to had their annual Thanksgiving all you can eat/drink dinner. It was SO good to eat an American Thanksgiving dinner. We had turkey, stuffing, green beans, mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls, apple pie, and PUMPKIN PIE! Let me explain why this is special.

First of all, in Japan, 'turkey' is a country. Almost all Japanese people don't know what a turkey is and few have eaten it before. Hence, finding turkey in Japan is comparable to finding Osama Bin Ladin. Not gonna happen. Stuffing is another wonder out here. I haven't seen green beans or mashed potatoes either so I don't know if they exist. Actually, the colonel serves extra crispy chicken here, so I know there are mashed potatoes. Pumpkin Pie ..... definitely not on any Japanese menus, so this was a very good treat. I'm not eating for 3 days just so I won't ruin the pumpkin pie taste in my mouth.

Happy Turkey Day!

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Sorry I have been so delinquent with my blogs. Things have been busy but I have lots to write about. Unfortunately it won't be today because I'm leaving town for a few days. However, I will update you on everything when i get back. Since it's Thanksgiving, here's a few things I'm thankful for:

Insulation: Apparently the Japanese are not thankful for it because they've never heard of it. That means outside is the same temperature as inside. BRRRR!!!!

Driers: No driers in Japan unless you go to the coin laundry. Clothes hung up from yesterday's laundry is still not dry.

Non-Japanese food: I really miss ANY food that isn't Japanese

Central Heating: We'll see if the little table with the electric heater under it cuts it for the winter

Knee room in the bathroom: Say what? One good thing about living alone is if you need to go to the bathroom and have to shut the door, it's a pretty tight fit in there.

Beds: Sleeping on the floor is nice...When you're drunk and just want to pass out.

That's about it for now. I'll write more soon. Thanks everybody for reading this. I also love all the comments you guys write. They make me laugh.

Miss you all and Happy Thanksgiving!

Gobble

Emergency Reserve

So I thought you would all be happy to know I'm in great hands at this apartment. First of all, if you didn't know, Japan is vending machine capital of the world. Within a 15 second walk from my house there are 8 vending machines. The most important one is shown below.

(Chu-Hi is like a wine cooler but not as sweet with more alcohol)

Cooking is not for the weak

Q: What do you do with 20 japanese women in a kitchen

A: Get out of the way!


My adult conversation class had a cooking lesson. Well, this is how the story started. Long, long, ago... the first week of September we had our first lesson. They all like cooking so I suggested if they wanted we could do an English cooking class for one of our lessons. By the end of that class, they had a date, a place to cook, and somebody to prepare the recipes and food. So the day had come and I got the recipes and had them translated to English. I had a lesson prepared for cooking and learning English.

Apparently they did too.

So first I went to the wrong cooking place and I ended up being 20 minutes late to the correct place. When I arrived, they were already going to town and let me tell you, don't get in the way of a Japanese woman with cooking utensils. If I saw 20 Samurai warriors vs. 20 Japanese women in a kitchen, I'd put my money on the women. I was going to help and they kindly told me not to worry (get out of the way) and went back to business. We ended up having a really good dinner and all the lesson plans were thrown out the door. I'll be damned if I heard more than 10 words in English.

Similarities

So I found a similarity between the US and Japan. If you don't pay your electric bill they turn off your electricity.

After two weeks in Japan, my boss told me she would take my bank info to the electric company to get auto pay setup (at least that's what I think i understood). Apparently it wasn't setup because I had no electricity when I got home today. Luckily they left a piece of paper in my door the day before so I had my coworker call and see what the paper meant. Unfortunately the paper said my electricity was getting turned off.... and it did. Makes me wonder what my supervisor did with my bank info... and why I only have $150 in my bank after payday... and why she has a new car. However, service in Japan is nice. I cycled to the electric company and paid my bill. Then a guy cycled back to my apartment with me and they turned it back on. Can't beat that service. (except for maybe the Walmart door greeter)

Smoke Stalker

Here is a Japanese ashtray outside of a convenience store. You can find smoke stalkers in trains (non-smoking), restaurants, and even barber shops. In fact, during an assembly on Thursday my Junior high's bathroom caught on fire due to two girls smoking. Beware: The smoke stalker!!!!!!

"My smoke is enveloping that man over there."

Happy Halloween!

I never thought I would say I'm sick of Charlie Brown's Halloween special. But sadly the day has come. After teaching 10 halloween lessons and showing half of the cartoon in the class, I'm ready for Thanksgiving specials.

However, Halloween was a great weekend. I found it quite difficult to make a costume in a country that doesn't celebrate Halloween. After searching forever, I finally found a store that had all kinds of Halloween goodies. I threw a few things together from there, bought a few things from the 100 Yen store, bought a $4 brown shirt and I was ready to go!

First was Saturday in the city at the popular foreigner's karaoke bar (foreigner = english teachers). The place was PACKED with things from animals to mobsters to (my favorite) the boy riding the 'Neverending Story' dragon. (See the pic for my costume of the lost 70's horse).

Then today for Halloween I wore my costume to school. It was great and the kids LOVED it. My supervisor told me a funny story after school though. (A little background first, my normal daily outfit consists of khakis / slacks and a polo shirt) Today for my costume, I was wearing my ugly brown v-neck cut shirt and some plastic necklaces I made from junk at the 100 Yen shop. The English teacher I work with overheard some teachers talking. The conversation went something like this: "I thought Eric was a modest guy. I had him all wrong. He's really flamboyant and flashy." Apparently nobody knew it was Halloween. They thought this was my normal dress and that I couldn't stand it any longer having gone back to my roots, dressing flashy. To tell you the truth, I've been wanting to wear my plastic necklaces since I got here but I just couldn't hold back the urge!!! Haha..it was pretty hilarious. She set them straight. Then before I was about to leave the vice principal came over and said the same thing! Apparently my bling bling and cardboard/foil horseshoe medallion is a little too showy for junior high. I guess I've got to pursue my next option... Rapping.

Dumbo

Did you ever wonder what happened to Dumbo after all his fame and fortune with Disney? Well, many years later he couldn't handle turning the limelight over to Bambi and he turned to drugs to cope. Now, he is working for minimum wage in Japan just to support his drug habit. In fact, here is one of his latest gigs for a Japanese cereal.

Biggest scam in Japan

A few Sundays ago we visited the critically acclaimed whirl pools of Naruto. Naruto is a city on the cost of our island. The city has a huge bridge that spans across the ocean to land closer to Honshu (the main big Japanese island). You can pay 500 Yen (about $4.50) to go in the walkway under the bridge and look down at the 'whirlpools'. Apparently the whirpools are caused because this is the point where the southern and northern tides meet and make the swirls. Well, we went to look and there were many people there. The big tourist area under the bridge is actually pretty spacious. So we walked across the bridge and looked down through the glass they have on the walkways. Ummm, it looked like some boat wakes. Maybe it was just the time we went, but it wasn't very impressive. However, I had to include the picture with the little kid. His mom was making him stand on the glass and he was FREAKING out! I would never do it to my kid, but it sure was funny watching her do it to her kid.

Are we there yet?

(above: courtesy of Jill's camera)

A few weekends ago, 9 English teachers and myself took a bike trip on a popular Japanese bike route. The route Started on our island of Shikoku and ended on the main island Honshu. Along the way we rode over 6 islands and 6 bridges. How long was the ride? Longer than my knees wanted. 70 km or 43 miles. We rented some bikes and started the trip around 10:30 am. The ride (when not going up hills) and scenery was very nice and beautiful. Half way through we stopped at a small restaurant and ate some tempura and cold udon. The weather was super nice until the last 5 minutes of the trip when it started to pour rain. We ended up getting to our destination around 6:00 p.m. The next morning 7 of the ALT's decided to bike back. The old farts (myself being the oldest on the trip) decided to take it easy and take a ferry back. If I would've ridden back, right now my knees would be lost somewhere in a bush next to the bike trail, I would be about 16" shorter, and my nickname would be stumpy. The 3 of us decided to make the most of our time and took turns in a massage chair, ate katsudon (breaded pork over rice with an egg), then went to a bakery and shoved our face full of dessert. That was so much better than biking another 43 miles

What is this I found?

I had to travel all the way to Japan to find poprocks!

B-Day!

It was a damn fine day to have a birthday today. I went to school and the kids sang happy birthday to me. The 8th graders gave me a package with a bunch of postcards tied together to make a book. Each student picked a b-day line to write (i.e. Wishing you a happy b-day) then they each wrote one or two lines of their own which was great! Here are a few:

Don't come back to Utah. Stay in Japan.

Happy b'day to the coolest teacher in the whole wide world.

You are Picaso! Joke Joke

I like Mr. Eric and Stussy.

Marry me!

Shall we dance with me.

Please don't chase girls.

I can't live without you!

You are a very matured guy.

Your class gives me the energy to study.

I love your hair style.

I want to see your sister.

So that was a great b-day present. There are over 100 more. My teacher gave me a baseball mug and sticker and my Adult Conversation students gave me a big warm blanket for winter time. Also, I went to one of the old lady's house for a b-day dinner with 3 other English teachers and 7 older Japanese people that I knew. We had tons of food that the host made: Sushi, some beef dish, a japanese stew, onion and pork soup, fruit, cake, and lots of other stuff. It was great fun and we ate and talked for about 3-1/2 hours. So all in all, it was a pretty good last b-day in my 20's (that part sucks!). Saturday the English teachers around here are taking me to dinner and then drinks to follow.

Also, thanks everybody for sending me b-day emails!!! You're all great family and pals!

Only in Japan

I never have to go to a grocery store again.